i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
