The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize