yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
