remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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