What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
