you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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