well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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