i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
