i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
