that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
