god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
