I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
