guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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