Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
