just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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