If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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