Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
