he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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