i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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