i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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