He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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