i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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