You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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