Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
