Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
