we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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