just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
