I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
