whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
