this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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