Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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