What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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