before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
