just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
