i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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