I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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