i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
