a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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