ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
