so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
