let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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