you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
