i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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