dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
