youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
