I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
