Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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