I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
