Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
