Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
