real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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