batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
