Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
