If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
