what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
