your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
