My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
one might say we're banned from that church
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
