I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
