I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Lo siento on account of my penis...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
