your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
