just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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